Money money money…

In trying to decide what to do with your life, one thing generally rears it’s ugly head; money.

“How are you going to live?”, “What will you do for cash?”, “How will you pay for it all?”, these are the types of questions you hear from people whenever you talk about doing something new, about “…making the choice between liberty and security.” And with good reason.

For example, last week I was idly contemplating pay day, making a list of what I was going to buy with this month’s cash (which included a tri-monthly bonus), when suddenly I chipped a tooth, and I discovered my car hadn’t had a proper service in over a year, and there’s a friend’s birthday coming up, and… well, you get the picture. I went from buying a new stereo to dipping into my savings in a matter of days. Such is the way of things.

But should this be a reason not to try? Hell no! You can live in fear or take risks and have fun, and either way there’ll still be unexpected things to deal with along the way. For example, I used to share a house with this lad who never worried about what he spent his money on. If he saw something he liked, he bought it. Every time he came home he had something new and interesting to show us.

I, on the other hand, was eternally frugal. I was digging my way out of debt and so was counting every penny. I bought shop brand goods (ie: non-Heinz baked beans), thought hard about any major purchase, and never did anything on the spur of the moment.

And you know what, at the end of the month we were both skint, but he’d had a lot more fun than I had. It was a revelation the day I figured that one out. That was when I stopped worrying about money, and started using it to my own advantage.

I still budget, and I still save, but once the bills are paid I allow myself free reign to quite simply spank the remainder on whatever the hell I want, and I have a lot more fun doing it than I ever did feeling guilty for enjoying myself now and then.

Don’t ever be too hard on yourself; there’s plenty of people out there who’ll try and do that for you.

Speaking of fun, meet Thumb Face.

I’d explain him, but I think he’s pretty self explanatory. You’ve got amuse yourself somehow, eh? I’ve got a feeling Thumb Face will make a few more appearances in the future. He has a tenacious curiosity.

He’s a winnah!

I won on the Premium Bonds! Had some since I was a kid, only about £100 or so, and this is the second time they’ve come up for me. Yay Ernie!

It’s only £25 but still, who can say no to free money. I’m gonna put it towards some new boots.

Change the world $25 at a time

I’ve been a member of an online micro loan community called Kiva for a while now. The idea is very simple: Entrepreneurs worldwide, who may not have access to ‘normal’ modes of funding, ask for a loan on Kiva.org. Those who want to help out can lend them all or just part of the loan (minimum $25). They invest the money, reap the benefits, then repay the loan you made in full, leaving you with your original stake which you can then re-invest.

I’ve got $75 in there at the moment (soon to be $100) which I have been able to use to help 7 small businesses all over the world. 4 of them have paid me back in full. The other 3, my most recent loans, are in the process of paying me back. It’s quick and easy to do, there’s no hidden costs, and they’ve got a 98.95% repayment rate, which is better than any high street bank. That’s because the people they help are just like you and me. All they want is a chance to make their lives better.

If you need any more inspiration watch this TED video from Kiva’s co-founder Jessica Jackley. It’s a very warm and touching presentation that I found incredibly moving.

Please give some serious consideration to investing $25 and maybe changing someone’s life. It’s a meal to us, but it could be a new beginning for them. Thank you.

Week 37 : out and about

Been a busy week this week. I’ve surprised myself with how busy I’ve been.

We had a very successful International Kiki Day, where much fun was had by all and a number of goodies were procured for future enjoyment.

I popped sarf o’ the river to see my friend Katie who I did Go Ape with, and who I haven’t seen for ages, taking with me a gluten free version of my Coconut and Oatmeal Cookies and some Chocolate Crunchies (which I’m still working on the recipe for – coming soon).

And then last night I went to a party, where I drank for the first time in 4 months. Not dirty dirty Stella, as pictured above, but a couple of mojitos. Now I didn’t get really drunk, the mojitos I made weren’t even that strong, but I wish I hadn’t bothered. I didn’t gain anything by it. In fact the only result was I felt a bit rougher this morning. That’s why I think I’m going to lay off the booze for good pretty much. I think I’d prefer it that way.

And finally, my days of ‘taching it up are coming to an end. I’ve called time on the Moustache for Cash project, and I’m now in the process of collecting all the donations and arranging to hand them over to the zoo. Hopefully this week I’ll be able to do one final blog entry with a grand total on, including some pictures of the handover, an announcement of who won the cookies and cake, and possibly another little surprise. Check back next weekend for more developments.

Week 31: In which our hero goes porno (‘tache watch, part 1)

Well, no surprise what my new thing for this week was. The glorious porno ‘tache I’ve started growing.

It began on Sunday the 1st, with… well, nothing really. I just stopped shaving. After four days, it was time to go to the razor. I got in the mood for the occasion with a little some appropriate music – Je t’aime, moi non plus – by Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg – then set to work.

This was the result.

Not bad, but a bit normal I think. It lacked bravery, style, panache, and it made me look like a copper, so more work was needed. Come Sunday the 8th and it was time to get the razor out again. This time I added a bit more, extending the ‘tache down at the edges to give it it’s full porno credentials. Regarde:

Now you’re talking! This I like, and when it fully comes in it’s gonna look fabulous. I have an idea for some ‘tache based stunts to do in later weeks, but they’re still on the drawing board for now. More news as and when they happen.

For now, I hope you’re enjoying the developing facial hair. If anyone fancies sponsoring me in my efforts, and helping me raise money for the London Tropical Zoo, you can do so here. And my thanks to everyone who’s sponsored me already. I really appreciate all the help.

Kiki’s porno moustache

Well, I’ve decided what to do to raise some money for the London Tropical Zoo. For the month of August I will be growing some embarrassing facial hair!

I’m sure that my friends, relatives, and the general public, will pay good money to see me go around sporting a porno moustache. You know the kind of thing I mean, bushy but kempt, a little down at the ends, the sort of moustache that says ‘Yeah I’ve been naked on camera, what of it?’…hahaha… Sorry, but every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or shop window I can’t help but think how daft it looks. And also a little official too, like a policeman or something, which is doubly scary.

So there you have it, 31 days of me getting funny looks and you guys getting a good laugh. You can’t say fairer than that. And as an added bonus whoever makes the biggest donation gets a free home-made cake from me. Now if that doesn’t tempt you nothing will!

To make a donation click here.

To read more about the Tropical Zoo having to move click here.

Week 30: In which our hero makes a new friend

No new recipe this week I’m afraid. There’s one in the works for coconut and oatmeal cookies, but the first batch went splat (too much marg) and the second lot were big lumps (too much flour) so I’ve a wee bit more testing to do before I unleash it upon you, but it’s only a few days away.

For now you’ll have to settle for enjoying my ‘new thing’ for the week with me. And what a new thing it is! I met a snake. More than that, I held a snake; and a tortoise; and a stick insect. It was so cool!

This is me and Sid (made up name). He was a constrictor, possibly a North American forest snake, though that could just be me making stuff up. What I can tell you is he felt so strange to hold. Cool, but not cold. Not at all clammy. Firm, but supple. Seriously, it was the only truly amazing thing I’ve done in a long time. And I had no idea when I got up that morning that I’d be holding a snake. I just went for a bike ride with my friend Sarah, and we just happened to stumble into The London Tropical Zoo at Syon House.

It’s only a small zoo, mostly made up of animals people can’t take care of anymore, and creatures that have arrived illegally or unexpectedly in baggage at the nearby Heathrow Airport. That said they have an interesting mix of creatures, from creepy crawlies all the way up to caimens and crocodiles, and they do a wonderful job of presenting them to the world for us to marvel at and enjoy.

Sadly this lovely little zoo is having to move at the end of the year because the land on which it’s on has been sold off by the Duke of Northumberland for the Hilton hotel chain to build a new hotel on (like the world needs one of those). They have a new site to move to, but what they don’t have is the £350,000 needed to pay the deposit on the land and start work on building a new zoo. The opportunity is there if any large scale investors are interested. Would that I had the cash I’d give it to them myself. What I can do though is a bit of fund raising of my own. I doubt I’ll be able to make much, but every little helps, and I feel like I’ve got to do something.

I’ve got an idea or two for what to do to raise the money. Going to mull it over for a bit, see how it’ll work, then I’ll let you know what I decide. Also, I’m open to suggestions if you have any. I’ll be making my final decision at the end of the week. Tune in then for the result.

Week 27: In which our hero really loses track of time

I had this really cool start to this entry all worked out. It went like this:

52 x 7 = 364.
Half of 52 is 26.
Week 26 = Half of 2010.

Then I was going to do a summation of where I was at the half way point of 2010. Only thing is, half way was last week! I totally missed it!!!

As I said then, I’m having a bit of trouble keeping track of time at the moment, but losing an entire week! Man, that’s bad.

Still, no reason I can’t do the summation now. A week late, but still relevant. So, done one or two new things so far this year – had a go in a floatation tank, saw my first musical as well as a few other shows, got into tiltshifting, I gave up booze, did a few other experiments in going without, was featured in Ask A Vegan, had lots of fun with new tunes, and won the lotto – but not an amazing amount considering how much time I’ve had.

Still, it’s all good practice, and you can’t moon over what has gone before. Onwards and upwards my valiant friends. Hence forth, I shall re-double my efforts to do new things. I shall do more cooking (34 recipes produced so far), I shall do more writing (some progress made on a number of ideas but not enough really), and I shall endeavour to remember why I started this thing in the first place (a house, a family, an interesting job, and a dog).

So, the plan is, one proper new thing a week, at least one new recipe each week, a movie recommendation each week, and hopefully some writing or something each week. Could be a bit of a tall order, but if I plan it properly I reckon I can do it. I’ve had my ‘holiday’ as it were, these last few weeks doing not much but reading and lazing about, so now it’s time to go to work.

Week 17: Fun, finance and freebies

An odd week this week, reflective of my lightly confused state of mind at the moment. I really don’t know where to start, so before I do, here’s a picture of Buddha for you to enjoy.

Now, let’s start with the fun. I went to see Avenue Q on Tuesday night. Got a couple of tickets for the bargain price of £45 from the Tkts Booth in Leicester Square. Good seats too: Stalls, row H, just off centre.

Now this is only my second musical, after going to see Legally Blonde for my birthday, but it didn’t disappoint. The part human/part puppet cast worked well – even though the actors were just walking around with the puppets on their hands, not trying to hide or anything, so you spent as much time looking at them as at the puppets – and the songs were good – though I couldn’t sing you one if I tried, unlike when I left legally Blonde – so over all it was well worth going to see, but there was one or two sticking points for me.

Personally I would have liked to have seen them work the puppets a little bit more. Often they’d be singing their heads off, doing all sorts of expressive head movements themselves, but just opening and closing the mouthes of the puppets, not really putting much life into the performance at all. What’s the point of having puppets if you’re not going to use them to their full potential? That said, the guy with the beard who played Trekkie Monster and one of the Bad Idea Bears really put his back into it, and gave us some of the funniest bits of the whole show, so hats off to him for that.

Also, and this is just weird, there was a Chinese character in the show (a person, not a puppet) played by some woman who very obviously wasn’t Chinese. Every time she was on stage I kept thinking “Couldn’t they find a Chinese woman to play that part? Are there no singing Chinese actors in London these days?” And who knows, maybe there aren’t; but I doubt it. In fact I bet you a fiver I could find one inside of a week.

I have an announcement to make. I am now officially old! Why? Because I’ve joined the pension scheme at work. Now I know what some of you are thinking, big whup, but for me it’s symbolic of something; a fundamental alteration of intent. By signing up I’ve finally admitted that maybe I’m not going to make it big in Hollywood, or invent something amazing, or just plain old win the Lotto (which I’ve bought tickets for twice this week). I’ve chosen to “not put my eggs in one basket” as the adviser said, but to hedge my bets, in my opinion, on the side of ‘failure’.

I know, I know, I’m being overly dramatic, but there is a real point here. I want to stop worrying about the future, not give in to those fears and start planning for it. After all, tomorrow never comes, there is only the now, so what am I planning for?

And I’ll tell you what else, I don’t like how that money, once it’s paid in, is gone for good. I won’t see any return on it until I retire. I can’t get it back at any point, it’s in there for life. This seems wrong to me. It’s my money, it’s not spent, if I want it back I should get it back, shouldn’t I? I’m telling you man, pensions, like insurance, is just one big racket. But hopefully I’ll have the last laugh. They say when I retire they’ll work out from what I’ve put in how much I’ll get each year for the rest of my life, based on how long they think I’ll live. What they don’t realise is, if i keep on with the Tai Chi, I’m going to live a hell of a lot longer than they think.

Still, I shouldn’t complain financially speak this week. I’ve enjoyed a shed load of freebies recently. I’ve had free massages from the lovely Sarah (Hi Sarah! *wave*) which were very relaxing, got a free physio check up (detailed previously) which helped me figure out what’s wrong with my legs/back, and I even got a free hair cut the other day (which included a wash, dry, and go in the vibrating chair) so over all I’m a bit ahead of the game… which is nice. However, we must remember: TANSTAAFL – There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. Life has a way of balancing out, whether we like it or not. I just hope these were returns on previous ‘investments’, and not something I’ll have to pay for later.

TTFN

Week 16: Chryslers, cash and crapulence

What on earth is that title about? Well…

1. I’m going to buy a car. After getting lifts home with a lad from work these recent weeks I’ve come to the undeniable conclusion that getting public transport with a bunch of mouth breathing mumblies really sucks ass, so I need a vehicle to get me from A to B: And that vehicle will be a Chrysler PT Cruiser! Why? Coz I like ‘em, and no other reason. For once I’m going to buy something because it’s what I want, not just because it’s the sensible option, or because I can afford it. I think they look cool, and I think I’d look great driving one, so I’m gonna get me one. Now If I can just find one for under three grand…

2. Y’know I said I was going to do the week without any money, well it turns out that that ain’t as easy as it sound. Not that I really had to buy anything (see point 3. for further detail), but just having no money in your pocket is kind of weird. It’s much more comforting to have just a little something jingling about down there, just in case you fancy a coffee or something when you’re out and about. So I cashed in my coppers jar – a whopping total of seven quid – just so I’d be liquid again… and then promptly spent most of it on booze. Which brings me neatly to:

3. I’ve got to give up drinking! Not that I’m a raging alcoholic or anything, but I do enjoy a drink now and then (more now than then) and I’m well aware that it’s not good for you in any way, shape, or form. Also, I did manage to do a bit of meditating this week, and alcohol is not conducive to the practice of mindfulness (and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves!). So if I want to reach Enlightenment before I die I need to put it aside. But more than that, if I want to get out of bed in the morning without feeling like crap I need to give it up. Whichever way you slice it it needs to be done.

So, I’ve got a few things to be getting on with. I also this week did a new recipe with I’m very pleased with (see my previous post) and I’ve been enjoying lots of pictures of purple things (yeah, I find it a bit weird too!) so it’s been an interesting one. Next week more fun, with a trip to the theatre, some sound financial planning (man I’m getting old) and more musings no doubt. Stay tuned.