I wish I could take my own advice.
I had this ‘great revelation’ about not doing vs. trying too hard, especially when it comes to my yoga practice, and then I go and over-stretch doing a sitting forward bend and pull a muscle in my back. Lord what fools these mortals be.
But, no experience is wasted if we learn something from it, and even though I was forced to take it easy for 4 days – which meant canceling getting my car serviced, canceling my trip to Brighton, and missing out on a yoga seminar – at least I may have learnt my lesson when it comes to exercising properly (I recognise the fact that, like a naughty puppy, sometimes I need to be smacked round the nose with a rolled up newspaper ).
The reason I went too far is simple; I’m over-eager to advance in my practice and thus one day become a teacher. You can’t force these things, and I now have to admit it may take me a year or two before I’m of a good enough standard to teach. After all, if you can’t do, you shouldn’t be teaching.
I do however want to teach, at least that much is clear. I’ve been getting distracted recently by the idea of opening a vegan bakery, so much so that it had become forefront in my mind. But it was only meant to be a secondary project; something to do in addition to the yoga studio upstairs. It was just the immediate possibility of the idea, the fact that there’s a gap in the market, and watching Stranger Than Fiction that shifted it’s position in my head. Really, if I’m honest, the idea of getting up at 6am every day and having to deal with the General Public does not fill me with heady enthusiasm. I mean I can do it, but I need to be doing something else too, just to help balance it out a bit.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been distracted by ‘reality’ either. Back in the day I wanted to be an author. When I was 8 I asked for a typewriter for Christmas. By age 10 I was sending stuff off to publishers, and though I’ve yet to have anything published, I still write. However, what I write has changed throughout the years. It started with books, then comic strips, then movies, until finally I’ve come full circle back to books again.
I recently asked a friend of mine, if you could do one thing before you die to somehow make your mark on the world, what would it be? Now I’ve had lots of ideas over the years, things I’ve invented, memes I’d like to be taken up, but in the end it boils down to one thing: Before I die I’d like to get a novel published. I want to see my name on the spine of a book in Waterstones, squeezed in between Charles Dickens and Emily Dickinson, then I’d feel like I’d accomplished something tangible, something that will live on after my death. How funny it is that, after 30 years, it all comes down to the same dream I had when I was 8 years old.
So there’s where I’m at at the moment. I’m going to finish the novel I started working on last year, whilst gently getting back up to speed with my yoga practice, and to appease the baking Gods I’m going to produce a series of recipe cards to sell online. That should keep me busy enough for a while, then in the summer I can reevaluate and see where I want to go next.
NB: Had some feedback on the script I finished in December. The friend I gave it to the other day to proofread said she picked it up to look at and couldn’t put it down again ’til she was finished. That’s the sort of stuff a writer wants to hear! No major problems either. The odd bit of dialogue that slowed things down a little (mostly expositional stuff that needs to be there, what they call ‘laying pipe’ in the business) but generally it sounds like it’s 95% there. Look forward to getting a more detailed analysis, plus the thoughts and opinions of my other proofreader, but it sounds like it’s on the right track so far. Happy days.