Today was interesting. For the first time since I started this I actually wanted to sit down and meditate. Actually, that’s not true. I always want to do it, but today there was a certain need I’ve not had before.
I was going to delay, do it later, as the workmen are back and there’s lots of noise round about, but thinking about it I realised that I really wanted to do it right away rather than wait. There was a desire to be still…
Hmm, now there’s a thing. I’m meant to be learning not to become attached to my desires, and yet here I am giving in to one. Now there’s something to think about. Not that I’m going to beat myself up over the idea. As the Buddha said, you can have positive addictions (like meditation, exercise, etc.). I just need to watch out for the moment when choice becomes need.
I will be glad when all the work is done round the back of the house. It’s quite hard to meditate with all the noise going on round here.
Today I attempted switch off my internal dialogue. It’s all too easy for you to think in words, for you to say to yourself ‘hmm, I went away for a long time there’, rather than just being aware of it. It worked to a degree though I did end up just thinking in pictures instead, which isn’t entirely helpful. But maybe it’s a step in the right direction.