30 Days of Meditation: day 25

Today’s session was just a waste of time.

I was in between two night shifts, and after sleeping all day I had to go out to do some shopping, so I didn’t have time before I went to work. But that’s ok, I thought, I’ll just do some when I get to work. Not a problem.

But then I got to work and we were so busy with stuff I completely forgot, and I didn’t remember ’til about 2am as I was lying down for a well deserved snooze (I nap on my break as a 12 hour night shift is, unsurprisingly, quite tiring). Well there was no way I was going to do it then, so I decided to do it when I got home.

But that turned out to be pointless. I did sit, at 7:30am, for half an hour, and for the majority of the time I was slumped over, half asleep, just waiting for the alarm to go so that I could go to bed.

It was a waste of time, as it achieved nothing. I’d have been better off just going to bed and doing an hour the next day (something I considered). In fact it’s only coz of this 30 day challenge that I didn’t. There was no way I was going to fail on day 25 of 30.

But it shows in a way what a hindrance doing this challenge can be sometimes. There’s no point doing it for it’s own sake, what does that get me except some kind of ego boost. And a lot of the time when I’m sitting and something happens I think ‘Must remember that so I can blog about it later’, which is just another distraction on top of everything else I’ve got going on.

But still I’m glad I’m doing it, as it has helped me realise that I can find half an hour a day to sit, and there are benefits to be had. I think once this challenge is over, and I’m just doing it to do it, that’s when I’ll see the real results.

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