There’s only one word for how I feel at the moment, discombobulated. Ok, maybe befuddled. Or possibly even confounded? Y’see, I’m even discombobulated about my discombobulation!
They say a picture paints a thousand words, so allow me to illustrate my situation thusly:
That’s my ankle after going over on it ice skating at Somerset House. It’s the perfect metaphor for 2012 so far. I was shaky in the beginning, got confident, stopped paying attention, and ultimately landed on my arse.
A few things have gone a little bit haywire this week, and I put it down to one thing and one thing only, the non-practice of mindfulness. I’ve been asleep at the wheel, mentally speaking that is, and so it was just a matter of time before I had an accident.
Yesterday I told a blatant lie, thereby breaking one of the five precepts for the lay Buddhist, and for no good reason either. It was someone else’s thing that they wanted me to cover for. Why, I don’t know? I’m just annoyed that without even thinking about it I agreed. It just highlighted for me how little attention I’ve been paying recently.
But what has passed is gone, we can only look to the future (or rather, the Now!). I need to put my meditation practice on a more solid footing (no pun intended) and really make sure it becomes a permanent aspect of my life (satori not withstanding). Only in that way will ‘accidents’ like those above be eradicated from my life.
Not that I will be without injury, but at least the ones that do occur won’t be because I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. 🙂
What on earth is that title about? Well…
1. I’m going to buy a car. After getting lifts home with a lad from work these recent weeks I’ve come to the undeniable conclusion that getting public transport with a bunch of mouth breathing mumblies really sucks ass, so I need a vehicle to get me from A to B: And that vehicle will be a Chrysler PT Cruiser! Why? Coz I like ’em, and no other reason. For once I’m going to buy something because it’s what I want, not just because it’s the sensible option, or because I can afford it. I think they look cool, and I think I’d look great driving one, so I’m gonna get me one. Now If I can just find one for under three grand…
2. Y’know I said I was going to do the week without any money, well it turns out that that ain’t as easy as it sound. Not that I really had to buy anything (see point 3. for further detail), but just having no money in your pocket is kind of weird. It’s much more comforting to have just a little something jingling about down there, just in case you fancy a coffee or something when you’re out and about. So I cashed in my coppers jar – a whopping total of seven quid – just so I’d be liquid again… and then promptly spent most of it on booze. Which brings me neatly to:
3. I’ve got to give up drinking! Not that I’m a raging alcoholic or anything, but I do enjoy a drink now and then (more now than then) and I’m well aware that it’s not good for you in any way, shape, or form. Also, I did manage to do a bit of meditating this week, and alcohol is not conducive to the practice of mindfulness (and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves!). So if I want to reach Enlightenment before I die I need to put it aside. But more than that, if I want to get out of bed in the morning without feeling like crap I need to give it up. Whichever way you slice it it needs to be done.
So, I’ve got a few things to be getting on with. I also this week did a new recipe with I’m very pleased with (see my previous post) and I’ve been enjoying lots of pictures of purple things (yeah, I find it a bit weird too!) so it’s been an interesting one. Next week more fun, with a trip to the theatre, some sound financial planning (man I’m getting old) and more musings no doubt. Stay tuned.